Ladies and gentlemen it would help add to the experience of these coveted Salford Star Mary Burns Awards if you could put full dinner dress on, grab a glass of warm white wine and applaud to yourself after each award is announced. Now, without further ado, let's get on with this year's ceremony...
THE OUR FRIENDS IN THE NORTH MEMORIAL PRIZE
Goes to
Sigma Capital Group
This annual award harks back to the brilliant classic drama series about regeneration gone rotten, starring Salford's own Christopher Eccleston. This year's recipient, Sigma, was the judges' overwhelming choice, thanks to its trousering of an estimated £700,000 for its `work' on the clearing of the Top Streets community in Higher Broughton.
Over two hundred affordable houses were bulldozed in the Top Streets, replaced by eighty largely unaffordable houses plonked up by Countryside Properties in the re-named Kings Square. Public money paid for the clearance of both houses and community, while Countryside built the houses
Sat somewhere in the middle was Sigma Capital in partnership with Salford Council and the Royal Bank of Scotland and it was "pleased to report" to the Stock Exchange that "The Top Streets project will provide the Group with fees and a share in the value of the housing units currently estimated at £0.70million in total".
Meanwhile, a landmark housing tribunal case a few years ago ruled that former resident Guy Griffiths had his house in the Top Streets undervalued by £24,000 - and thus, we can conclude, most people also had their houses undervalued, meaning Salford people were done out of a good few million quid.
It's nice to know that while those exiled Top Streeters struggle with bills somewhere away from Higher Broughton, they've made a nice contribution to Sigma's profits. And probably the Royal Bank of Scotland's vaults too.
Sigma is set to pocket another £300,000 from the health centre and retail scheme currently being built off Bury New Road on land that was supposed to be for picnickers on `Broughton Green'.
So ladies and gentlemen, go wild in the Countryside, count your losses and lift the roof, if there are any left, for the winner of this year's Our Friends In The North Memorial Prize...
Sigma Capital Group!!!
If someone from Sigma would like to make an acceptance speech please use the comments box below...
The eighth annual Salford Star Mary Burns Awards ceremony will run throughout the festive season
Other 2014 Salford Star Mary Burns Awards...
* Daft As A Brush Panto Award - Salford City Council - click here
* The China In Your Eyes Award Salford City Mayor Ian Stewart - click here
* The Ben Hur Award For Services To Hollywood - click here
* The Bridge Over Troubled Water Award - Salford City Mayor Ian Stewart - click here
* The Downhill Slalom Gold Medal For Collapsing Fracking Share Prices - IGas Energy plc - click here
*The Feed The Rich With £6Million Award (Part 1) Peel Holdings click here
* The Feed The Rich With £6Million Award (Part 2) Scarborough Development Group click here
* The George Bush `Read My Lips' Award' - Salford City Mayor Ian Stewart click here
* The In The Thick Of It Award Matt Finnegan click here
* The Palm d'Or Award Hazel Blears click here
* The Salford Red Devils `Paperwork Error' Award Salford City Mayor, Ian Stewart click here
The One Rule For The Mayor And One For Everyone Else Award Salford City Mayor Ian Stewart click here
The Disgraceful Disgusting Urban Splash Award Urban Splash click here
To see who won last year click here and follow the links