HOME   ARCHIVE   GALLERY   SHOP   ABOUT US      
 

 
MAYOR IAN STEWART WINS KING OF SALFORD AWARD
 

Star date: 3rd December 2013

STEWART WINS `GIMME THAT CROWN' SALFORD STAR MARY BURNS AWARD

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the annual Salford Star Mary Burns Awards, which are given out to honour the most deserving individuals and organisations in the city for their stupid statements, dodgy dealings and iffy activities over the past twelve months.

This year we have a new category, the `Gimme That Crown' Award for which there was only one contender. So get on yer knees, doff yer caps and all hale the man who would be King of Salford…Salford City Mayor…Mr Ian Stewart!

This way down the red carpet please…


Salford Star Mary Burns Award
click image to enlarge

THE SALFORD STAR MARY BURNS AWARDS 2013

Category: The `Gimme That Crown' Award
Winner: Salford City Mayor, Ian Stewart

When former Eccles MP Ian Stewart first got elected as City Mayor back in 2012, or what seems like a lifetime ago, he was determined to tell everyone in earshot that he didn't agree with the mayoral system. And the Mayor of Salford has been so true to his words – as he now begins to impose a monarchical system with himself as King.

Having disposed of Chief Executive Barbara Spicer and surrounded himself with spin doctor Matt Finnegan and a close clutch of Mayoral allies, virtually all voices of criticism and opposition have been silenced, including many public questions at Council meetings.

If the Mystic Mary predictions are to be believed (see here) five Assistant Mayors are to be executed too – and they are almost bound to be those who might challenge the wannabe Salford potentate's authority.

Back in October, Ian Stewart wrote to his servants - sorry, staff - with a letter explaining Spicer's departure. As a tribute to Stewart's new regime, one Salford Council worker re-configured the missive… 


Message From the City Mayor (and King of Salford)

Dear colleagues

As I informed you recently, we are currently undergoing a massive cull of the council's organisation and structure in the light of the £97 million government cuts since 2010. The cull is prompted by the further £75 million in cuts which the government are forcing upon us over the next three years. Watch out everyone!

Over recent months I have made it known to staff and the public that the current economic climate demanded that we look at all means of redesigning the way we work to ensure that I am absolute leader and we are fit for purpose.

I am not very good at thinking the unthinkable though, so I have asked the staff of Salford to do that for me.

The chief executive - I think her name is Barbara Spicer - informed me that she would like to leave the council - we have reluctantly supported her request (but honest there isn't any `rift' between us). This gave us the opportunity to commission an intensive review of our senior management structures so that we are able to pay her off and dump her quick.

Barbara's departure will obviously have an impact on the wider review of how the council operates in the future under a City Mayor (and King) governance framework. I am finally in total command. I will now start a new society based on the proposition that a City Mayor is actually royalty, and gets a crown, a sceptre and everything.

I am sure you will join me in wishing Barbara all the best (Hur! Hur!) in the future and thanking her sincerely (Fnar! Fnar!) for all the good work (Hee! Hee! Hee!) that she has done for the people of Salford.

As government austerity measures bite Salford tougher, harder and deeper, it is clear we must do more without chief executives, meddlers and piffle-mongers. That's why I have been reviewing every area of the council to see where I can grab more power off those people.

I am focused on how I can make a real killing and you will be none-the-wiser. You can call me Ian the First.

Because of government cuts, we all know that the council is going to look very different in the future. I will be in charge. I will change the name of everything from Human Resources (HUMANEGEMENT) to Salford itself (STEWARTSVILLE?).

I know you will all support me or else find yourself sitting on a bus next to `Spicer', crying into your spilt milk. I will continue to keep you informed of my progress in the near future. I believe that this is a journey we must make together so get me my crown or it's `bye-bye!' to you.

Best wishes,
Ian Stewart (King)
City Mayor (and King)

Ladies and gentlemen, serfs and slaves, get on yer knees, doff yer caps and all hale the first winner of this year's Mary Burns Awards…

The `Gimme That Crown' Award winner…
Salford City Mayor, I-a-a-n St-e-e-w-a-a-art!!!

Applause…

If King Ian the First would like to make an acceptance speech, please use the comment box below…

* More Mary Burns Award Winners to follow over the next few weeks…

This year's Mary Burns Award Winners...

The `Exit Stage Left' Award - Barbara Spicer - click here

The Excellence In Wrecking Salford Award - Peel Holdings - click here

Bum of the Year Award - Hazel Blears - click here

The Something Stinks In Salford Award - Martin Vickers - click here

Rent-a-Crowd of the Year Award - Salford City Mayor Ian Stewart - click here

The Ashley Jensen Award for Exposing Political Extremism- Councillor Gena Merrett - click here

 

Eccellense In Speling Award – Greater Manchester Police – click here

 

Interest Free Loans, But Not For Us, Award – Salford Council – click here

 

Trashing Salford Again You Scuzzy Fat Cat Loving, Poor People Hating, Northern Wrecking, Back Pocket Lining Arseholes Award - ConDem Government - click here

 

Twit on Twitter Award - Salford Mayor Ian Stewart - click here

* For a list of last year's winners click here and follow the links at the end.

                                                                                   
Change needed FAST wrote
at 12:03:21 AM on Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Oh come on let's just tell it as it is...... Ian Stewart was a REJECT of the Labour party in Eccles for the position of MP. The question is, if he was not good enough to represent Eccles in Parliament then WHY did Salford labour put him up for the Salford Mayor job as their candidate ?????????? It's not just him that needs getting rid of, it's also the Labour party members who voted for him to stand as their mayoral candidate. No point in just knocking Stewart as they will just replace him with the next incompetent fool that comes along. The Labour party in Salford needs a MASSIVE overhaul to bring it back to it's roots and until that happens I will not vote Labour in Salford again.
 
joe oneill wrote
at 12:02:25 AM on Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Will you please pack it in this is the second Pair of trousers I have pissed my self laughing in this week...
 
jeb wrote
at 12:02:09 AM on Wednesday, December 4, 2013
The only crown this self-serving career politician parasite deserves is a dunces cap .
 
Mike Collins wrote
at 6:47:24 AM on Tuesday, December 3, 2013
We had a great chance with an elected mayor and we got Ian. What has he done for Eccles? Raised Monks Hall - did not even get a reply. Love to know his agenda, certainly not to improve the lives of Salford people.
 
Brian F Kirkham wrote
at 5:11:49 AM on Tuesday, December 3, 2013
and to think - the people who instigated this have run from sight. It's time for an explanation wherever you are!
 
debbie wrote
at 5:11:45 AM on Tuesday, December 3, 2013
10/10 Excellent lol, ps where's the footie cards ?
 
Please enter your comment below:
 
 
 
Salford Star Hoodies
Salford Star contact
Deli Lama
advertisement
 
Contact us
phone: 07957 982960
Facebook       Twitter
 
 
Recent comments
article: SALFORD LIBDEM CANDIDATE CLAIMS SHE’S BEING BULLIED IN CLAREMONT
I was a teacher at PWHS when you were there Guy Otten. I remember the staff meeting. "Go". I will say no more on this site.... [more]
article: SALFORD LIBDEM CANDIDATE CLAIMS SHE’S BEING BULLIED IN CLAREMONT
I have read this story and, try as I might, I see no evidence of any bullying; what I see is someone using self promotion to drum ... [more]
article: SALFORD LIBDEM CANDIDATE CLAIMS SHE’S BEING BULLIED IN CLAREMONT
Imagine a world without politics!! I can dream.... [more]
article: SALFORD LIBDEM CANDIDATE CLAIMS SHE’S BEING BULLIED IN CLAREMONT
So, the Libdems are back on the ballot papers in Salford and seeking publicity. They disappeared from most of Salford from 2013,... [more]
article: SALFORD CITY FC WIN PROMOTION TO VANARAMA NATIONAL LEAGUE
Three promotions in four seasons, a superbly re-vamped Moor Lane ground - or should I say Peninsula Stadium - together with an ave... [more]
 
 
 
 
 
Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds
 
 
 

Donate

Help the Salford Star...

all donations welcome

 
 

More articles...

SALFORD RED DEVILS DIRECTOR OPENS UP ON PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS AT THE CLUB

Star date: 24th April 2018

"WE ARE PROBABLY THE MOST POORLY SUPPORTED CLUB..."

What is the future for Salford Red Devils? A wealthy benefactor has gone, players have been sold, crowds are small and income is low. On the pitch things aren't too bad but, off the pitch, the new owners are trying to pick up the pieces, including a new Salford Red She-Devils team...

"I think the reality is that we are probably the most poorly supported club" Executive Director Andrew Rosler tells Gareth Lyons "I think you kind of get the team you deserve..."

Full details here...

SALFORD LIBDEM CANDIDATE CLAIMS SHE’S BEING BULLIED IN CLAREMONT

Star date: 23rd April 2018

TENSION, 'BULLYING' AND POLITICAL DOG FIGHTING IN LOCAL ELECTION CONTEST

While the local election campaigns around Salford are pretty mild at the moment, in the Claremont ward it's all kicking off, with the LibDem candidate, Stef Lorenz, accusing Labour Party supporters of 'bullying', and the authorities of complicity.

Stef has been blocked from putting up posters in the local Height Library for a jumble sale and art auction in aid of restoring the old Height Youth Club, been forced to stand down as chair of that campaign and has been met with a volley of political abuse on social media. What's going on?

Full details here...

SALFORD MINERS REMEMBERED AT AGECROFT MEMORIAL

Star date: 22nd April 2018

RESPECT PAID TO IRWELL VALLEY MINERS

Yesterday, former miners, families and trade unionists gathered at the Agecroft Colliery monument to pay respects to those who lost their lives down the pits...

"Today means everything, it's the only way we can pay back what they did for you" said Jackie Rimmer, whose father died down Agecroft Colliery in 1963.

Full details here...

SALFORD CITY FC WIN PROMOTION TO VANARAMA NATIONAL LEAGUE

Star date: 22nd April 2018

SALFORD CITY ONE STEP AWAY FROM FOOTBALL LEAGUE

Salford City FC became champions of the National League North yesterday, despite losing 2-1 to Boston United. Harrogate Town's defeat at Bradford Park Avenue means that no-one can now catch the Class of '92 club.

Full details here...

SALFORD COMMUNITY WOOD CARVING CLUB OPENS AT ECCLES CENTRE

Star date: 22nd April 2018

EXHIBITION OF SALFORD WOOD CARVINGS OPENS NEW UNEMPLOYED ARTS CLUB

An exhibition of ninety wood carvings, featuring everything from birds to animals, to wood spirits and politicians, has opened at the Salford Unemployed and Community Resource Centre.

The exhibition will kickstart a new Salford Unemployed Arts Club based at the Centre, where anyone who is unemployed or disabled can meet and try wood carving or any other creative activity.

Full details here...

 



written and produced by Salfordians for Salfordians
with attitude and love xxx