HOME   ARCHIVE   GALLERY   SHOP   ABOUT US      
 

 
A SALFORD ODDITY PART TWO
 

Star date: 2nd May 2011

A SALFORD ODDITY – The Gritty Sequel

Part Two of Tom Short's comic reflections on Salford.

On bikes, Tesco and petrol bombs…

Click here…


A Salford Oddity 2 - The Gritty Sequel

See Part 1 here

I would like to thank everyone for their support of my last article and your kind words, they mean a lot.  However I have got to get this off of my chest before I start…

The other day I was asked if I had moved my bike. I had a look outside and my bike was not where it was left. After looking around it was not anywhere to be found. The only evidence of it was the smashed padlock and chain on the ground as if to say mockingly 'I don't think you'll be needing this any more…'. The thing that struck me as odd was that both of the tyres had burst. So I don't know why it was stolen because they won't have gotten very far with it, or at least anywhere up hill.

So if anyone sees a black Reebok suspension bike that answers to the name Mitzy and has two burst tyres get in contact. In the meantime I will try and contact the A team. And if they can't find my bike at least they can always make me a new one from a piece of string and an elastic band in a matter of minutes from what I've seen of their work.

On to other things. Salford is a beautiful city. I do some filming in my spare time and what with no car, and now no bike, I have found numerous locations that look like something straight from a story book. I will have lived here for 21 years come May 4th, born in Hope Hospital. I have always lived in this city  - I did live in Eccles for a while but the old fella down the pub would swear that it isn't in Salford regardless of who receives his poll tax.

Politicians tell us that change is a good thing but what are we changing? When a light bulb wants changing it's because it's stopped working and we want we want more what of we are used to. Salford Reds are moving their ground to Barton but I don't want to travel that far to watch them lose. If it isn't broke don't fix it and what needs fixing in Salford?

Most people are happy, if not content, with living in this city and, if anything, once we get that new Tesco if there is an area of Salford we don't like we can always riot and claim it on the insurance like they did in Bristol. However we are too modest for that sort of thing, plus with no big sport shops to get the baseball bats from and at £1.36 a litre who's going to be lighting petrol bombs? We'd have to go to Tesco for the supplies needed and that defeats the object unless you're after the club card points.

In leaving you this time I want to tell you a story from when I was younger: I wanted to leave Salford at one point. I felt that I had seen it all and was bored with Salford. I also wanted to be an actor back in the day and was auditioning at the Guildhall School of Acting in London. I went down there with my mum and scouted out the general location on the Tube but didn't know where exactly; so I tried asking for directions and out of a good dozen people asked, not one of them would stop and help, let alone give me the time of day.

I finally found the place and went inside, whilst my mum waited in the lobby with a paper. I went for the audition and the interview and we got on the train to Piccadilly. On the way back my mum told me she had been sneered at for reading the Daily Star.

When we finally got back we took the tram home and I stood there in quiet awe - noticing these people with their Mancunian accents who would have been considered 'common' having their various conversations. I knew that most of these people would have given me directions and the time of day if I asked them for it. After less than a day away I was happy to be home.

Until next time guys…

 

Jack wrote
at 19:45:31 on 17 May 2011
Keep it going
 
Karen wrote
at 12:19:31 on 05 May 2011
Tom, Fantastic !!!! Please carry on, as someone living in Salford, I know exactly what you mean, I was driving in town the other day and seen someone with a map looking lost, so I stopped the car and asked them did they want directions... ha ha Can you imagine that in London....
 
Sheldon wrote
at 05:13:23 on 04 May 2011
Speaks the truth, i like it!
 
lee wrote
at 08:00:07 on 03 May 2011
Another great article from Tom, we want more. :D
 
Mariella wrote
at 21:03:21 on 02 May 2011
Tom your truly talented, have they given you your own spot yet? =)
 
Please enter your comment below:
 
 
 
Salford Star Hoodies
Salford Star contact
Deli Lama
advertisement
 
Contact us
phone: 07957 982960
Facebook       Twitter
 
 
Recent comments
article: SALFORD MP SHOULD BE DESELECTED AFTER KEEPING TORIES IN POWER SAYS CONSTITUENT
Robert Ward,I'm genuinely interested iñ what "a hard Brexìt" would mean for Salford? Would it solve the housing crisis,end... [more]
article: SALFORD UNIVERSITY SACKS TOP PROFESSOR FOR FAILING TO CHASE MONEY
Is this a misprint there is'nt a salford uni in manchester.... [more]
article: £600 WORTH OF PROVISIONS COLLECTED IN ECCLES FOR SALFORD FOOD BANKS
I just want to thank Councillor Wheeler, the Salford Labour Party and the generous denizens of Eccles. I myself am a member of th... [more]
article: SALFORD UNIVERSITY SACKS TOP PROFESSOR FOR FAILING TO CHASE MONEY
This trend is the only 'name in the game' nowadays. How much money can you bring in! To judge someone in education by this ignore... [more]
article: SALFORD MP SHOULD BE DESELECTED AFTER KEEPING TORIES IN POWER SAYS CONSTITUENT
@ Alice. You could say that about almost any democratic election, anywhere. How many times have people been sucked in by political... [more]
 
 
 
 
 
Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds
 
 
 

Donate

Help the Salford Star...

all donations welcome

 
 

More articles...

LOWER BROUGHTON FAMILY FUN DAY AT GREEN GROSVENOR PARK

Star date: 22nd July 2018

DONKEY RIDES, MAGICIAN, STREET DANCE AND MORE

Family Fun Day
Sunday 5th August 12-4pm
Green Grosvenor Park

Donkey rides, live wrestling, fair rides, street dance and loads more attractions will happen at Lower Broughton's Green Grosvenor Park on Sunday 5th August for a major Family Fun Day.

Full details here...

SALFORD COMMUNITY MEETING TO SAVE AT RISK VICTORIA THEATRE

Star date: 22nd July 2018

CAN BROUGHTON VICTORIA THEATRE BE BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE?

Salford Victoria Theatre Trust Meeting
Wednesday 25th July 7:30pm
Eagle Inn

The derelict Victoria Theatre in Lower Broughton is now third on the Theatre Trust's 'At Risk' Register, and there's a community meeting on Wednesday to try and revive its fortunes. Up for discussion are possible community uses as a theatre school, youth club, cafe, bingo centre and more.

Full details here...

£600 WORTH OF PROVISIONS COLLECTED IN ECCLES FOR SALFORD FOOD BANKS

Star date: 21st July 2018

ECCLES GIVING DAY BRINGS SUPPLIES FOR LOCAL FOOD BANKS

Around £600 worth of food was collected in Eccles town centre today for the local homeless help centres, Mustard Tree and Lancaster House. This was the ninth Eccles Giving Day and local Councillor Peter Wheeler praised the generosity of shoppers who stuffed the collection trolleys.

Full details here...

CONSPIRACY THEORY DECONSTRUCTED FOR GREATER MANCHESTER FRINGE

Star date: 21st July 2018

VIDEO, SONGS AND HUMOUR AS LIZARDS RULE THE WORLD

Conspiracy Theory: A Lizard's Tale
Thursday 26th-Sunday 29th July
53: two £6/£9

The Holocaust never happened, lizards rule the world, the earth is flat and the moon is an alien space station? Marlon Solomon delves into the murky world of conspiracy theories, via a multi-media show with interactive video, songs and lots of humour for the GM Fringe, as Ian Leslie asks him about the prats who believe it all.

Full details here...

MOSLEY COMMON SCARECROW FESTIVAL

Star date: 21st July 2018

SALFORD SCARECROWS ENHANCE FUN TRAIL

Mosley Common Scarecrow Festival
Saturday 28th July from 10am
The Beehive Community Centre £1

The annual Mosley Common Scarecrow Festival is back next week with weird and wonderful scarecrows dotted all around the village, plus exhibits from Boothstown, and Little Hulton joining the local straw people.

Full details here...

 



written and produced by Salfordians for Salfordians
with attitude and love xxx