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A SALFORD ODDITY PART TWO
 

Star date: 2nd May 2011

A SALFORD ODDITY – The Gritty Sequel

Part Two of Tom Short's comic reflections on Salford.

On bikes, Tesco and petrol bombs…

Click here…


A Salford Oddity 2 - The Gritty Sequel

See Part 1 here

I would like to thank everyone for their support of my last article and your kind words, they mean a lot.  However I have got to get this off of my chest before I start…

The other day I was asked if I had moved my bike. I had a look outside and my bike was not where it was left. After looking around it was not anywhere to be found. The only evidence of it was the smashed padlock and chain on the ground as if to say mockingly 'I don't think you'll be needing this any more…'. The thing that struck me as odd was that both of the tyres had burst. So I don't know why it was stolen because they won't have gotten very far with it, or at least anywhere up hill.

So if anyone sees a black Reebok suspension bike that answers to the name Mitzy and has two burst tyres get in contact. In the meantime I will try and contact the A team. And if they can't find my bike at least they can always make me a new one from a piece of string and an elastic band in a matter of minutes from what I've seen of their work.

On to other things. Salford is a beautiful city. I do some filming in my spare time and what with no car, and now no bike, I have found numerous locations that look like something straight from a story book. I will have lived here for 21 years come May 4th, born in Hope Hospital. I have always lived in this city  - I did live in Eccles for a while but the old fella down the pub would swear that it isn't in Salford regardless of who receives his poll tax.

Politicians tell us that change is a good thing but what are we changing? When a light bulb wants changing it's because it's stopped working and we want we want more what of we are used to. Salford Reds are moving their ground to Barton but I don't want to travel that far to watch them lose. If it isn't broke don't fix it and what needs fixing in Salford?

Most people are happy, if not content, with living in this city and, if anything, once we get that new Tesco if there is an area of Salford we don't like we can always riot and claim it on the insurance like they did in Bristol. However we are too modest for that sort of thing, plus with no big sport shops to get the baseball bats from and at £1.36 a litre who's going to be lighting petrol bombs? We'd have to go to Tesco for the supplies needed and that defeats the object unless you're after the club card points.

In leaving you this time I want to tell you a story from when I was younger: I wanted to leave Salford at one point. I felt that I had seen it all and was bored with Salford. I also wanted to be an actor back in the day and was auditioning at the Guildhall School of Acting in London. I went down there with my mum and scouted out the general location on the Tube but didn't know where exactly; so I tried asking for directions and out of a good dozen people asked, not one of them would stop and help, let alone give me the time of day.

I finally found the place and went inside, whilst my mum waited in the lobby with a paper. I went for the audition and the interview and we got on the train to Piccadilly. On the way back my mum told me she had been sneered at for reading the Daily Star.

When we finally got back we took the tram home and I stood there in quiet awe - noticing these people with their Mancunian accents who would have been considered 'common' having their various conversations. I knew that most of these people would have given me directions and the time of day if I asked them for it. After less than a day away I was happy to be home.

Until next time guys…

 

Jack wrote
at 1:45:31 PM on Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Keep it going
 
Karen wrote
at 6:19:31 AM on Thursday, May 5, 2011
Tom, Fantastic !!!! Please carry on, as someone living in Salford, I know exactly what you mean, I was driving in town the other day and seen someone with a map looking lost, so I stopped the car and asked them did they want directions... ha ha Can you imagine that in London....
 
Sheldon wrote
at 11:13:23 PM on Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Speaks the truth, i like it!
 
lee wrote
at 2:00:07 AM on Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Another great article from Tom, we want more. :D
 
Mariella wrote
at 3:03:21 PM on Monday, May 2, 2011
Tom your truly talented, have they given you your own spot yet? =)
 
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