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SALFORD STAR MARY BURNS AWARDS 2009
 

MARY BURNS AWARDS
DAY 2

THE `KEEP YER GOB SHUT AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T GRIN FOR THE CAMERAS' AWARD

This MARY goes to someone who has completely turned her life around over the last year, following a massive media addiction. This poor lady was known to attend the opening of an envelope if there was a photo opportunity, and even won a MARY at the last awards ceremony for her services to camera gurning…

Ladies and Gentlemen. The `KEEP YER GOB SHUT AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T GRIN FOR THE CAMERAS' AWARD…goes to…

Please do a drum roll and click here…


 

...HAZEL BLEARS

Yes, there could be no other winner of this prestigious MARY than our own MP, who has worked tirelessly in the past to get a grinning photo of herself into every newspaper and magazine on the market. Unfortunately for Hazel, this year has seen her overdose on negative publicity, expire as a Cabinet Minister and almost expire as an MP.

Hazel won a stunning commendation from the MARY judges in 2007 for her "very hard work in the community, turning up at events all over the city to have her photo taken". 

In late 2009, however, Hazel cut a sad and lonely figure on BBC's Panorama, refusing to speak to the reporter, and running away every time a camera was produced. Now, our MP is reduced to holding secret gatherings with the community in locations unannounced to the media, where she can indulge her passion for the platform, away from the limelight.

Perhaps Hazel has been warned from Downing Street to keep her gob shut and her mug out of the papers…but how long this can last is anyone's guess. In fact, we have heard that Hazel's hired her own personal photographer to follow her around to re-live past glories. We have a message for Hazel – when the urge strikes, Just Say `No!'

Ladies and Gentlemen, we're sure this will merely be the first of many MARYS won this year by our MP….The `KEEP YER GOB SHUT AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T GRIN FOR THE CAMERAS' AWARD…goes to…

HAAAAAAZZZZZZZELLLLL BLEEEEEEEAAARS

Applause…

Hazel, if you'd like to make a speech please fill in the Comments box below

 

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