John Cooper Clarke, JB Barrington...Marvin Cheeseman? In the list of top current Salford poets Marvin Cheeseman's name doesn't really figure. Whereas the former duo are serious poets with a bit of comedy thrown in, Cheeseman is pure comedy wrapped up in verse...
"I never write serious poems" he deadpans "I'm probably too shallow."
...Norman Whiteside's chins, William Shatner's wig and an ode to The Wholesomeness of Coldplay and Their Fans make up some up the satirical and sometimes hysterical takes on mainstream culture that form his raucous set. There's also one short love poem to Crisps...
`...When I eat a bag of crisps I never want to stop
How I wish the manufacturers would fill them to the top...'
"The Crisps poem is not really that much of an exaggeration, all the hyperbole in there is written from the heart" Marvin explains "I seriously think that crisps are undervalued because I always say to people `Just imagine a world where there are no crisps', and they think for a minute and say `Yes that would be quite grim'"
It's a fetish he shares with Paul Heaton, singer, and owner of the King's Arms in Salford... "He had a sort of warm up gig at the pub before his tour; I was his support and we bonded over the crisps thing, because he's massively into crisps" Marvin adds "He's pretty much obsessed with them and collects empty crisp packets. He's quite open about it but we have got that in common."
So will he be doing the Crisps poem at Terry Christian's Mad Manc Cabaret, where he's sharing the bill with Badly Drawn Boy, Rachel MacFarlane, Aziz Ibrahim and more?
"I don't know because I've got a new one about erectile dysfunction called A Knob of Butter which I've not performed anywhere before" he says "And another one called Craig David Gets Food Poisoning, based on his song Seven Days. I've also got a new poem that will divide the audience down the middle, have half of them booing and half cheering..."
Marvin Cheeseman is the perfect act for the Mad Cabaret, getting the audience going in the return of the night to The Dancehouse Theatre. The Cabaret was previously at the Band On The Wall but is moving to the art deco theatre on Oxford Road which should turn up the volume of the atmosphere even further for this eclectic event that blends top acts from back in the day with upcoming younger performers.
"I did one of the Cabarets in November and the audience is quite a wide age group really" says Marvin "Aziz Ibrahim did a lot of stuff with Ian Brown so I think that will attract a lot of people of that generation, but Terry mixes it up with much younger acts."
On the bill, along with the Manc legends are Belfast hip-hop artist, Jun Tzu, North Manchester's The Korsairs, aged between 15 and 18, and The Marivaux who are getting load of airplay for their single All In Good Time. But Marvin Cheeseman is not to be missed, purveying deadpan Salford humour with lots of attitude.
Marvin's family left Strawberry Road in Pendleton when he was four to move to Moston, but for over a decade until 2012 he was back here, working with kids with disabilities for Salford Council. And Salford is steeped in his love for Manchester United...er, kind of...
"Being from Salford I'm a big Man United fan but I became a fan by complete accident" he recalls "I wasn't even in school yet but I had all the football cards, and one of them had all the different kits on. I picked out the one I liked best and said `That's the team I'm going to support'. So I asked my dad, who hated football, `Which team play in red and white?' And he said `Man United'. I said `Right I'm a Manchester United fan now'; and he went `Great' and went back to reading his paper.
"But it was actually the Arsenal kit that I was looking at" Marvin adds "So if he'd actually paid attention and looked I would have been an Arsenal fan – it was a real close one. In fact I could have ended up supporting any team if I'd liked the kit... Wolverhampton Wanderers or someone."
There might just be a comedy poem in all that somewhere. In the meantime, check out Salford's hidden poet at the Mad Manc Cabaret...
Mad Manc Cabaret
Friday 20th February
The Dancehouse Theatre £15
10 Oxford Road
Manchester M1 5QA
Tickets are £15 in advance or £20 on the door. Table seating with drinks service is also available. Contact The Dancehouse for these. Tel: 0161 237 9753/ 237 1413
Tickets from http://www.ticketline.co.uk/mad-manc-cabaret#tour
Further details of the Mad Manc Cabaret with videos of all artists - click here