Star date: 1st October 2011

Farsley 6 Salford City 0

AMMIES RECORD DEFEAT TO VILLAGE TEAM

Salford City managed somehow to contrive a worst ever defeat since being promoted to the Evo-Stik First Division. To Farsley. A village team, somewhere in back of beyond Yorkshire, where they still hang washing across the street…
 
Full spin here…

Welcome to Farsley. Where's that? Near Pudsey. Where's that? Thought it was that bear with a bandage over its eye. Turns out it's a village somewhere in Yorkshire where they still hang washing across the street.

Before the game some bloke from Pudsey or Farsley or wherever comes up and asks what's the highest in the league pyramid that Salford City have ever been. And we say, er, this is it – Evo-Stik First Division North mid table, give or take a few places. The bloke is shocked… "I know Salford, big city that's not Manchester" he says "I can't believe this is the highest you've been. I know you've got Man United but that's Manchester. Is this really the highest you've been? Salford, it's a big city…"

He shakes his head and walks away…

Yep, this is it for Salford footy. The best it gets from the big city. And then the game kicks off. And the village team, Farsley, proceed to tear us apart…

Less than five minutes gone… 1-0

But a few minutes later Salford City, attacking the Kop containing all of half a dozen tangerine supporters, almost equalise, as Jack Redshaw hits a good chance just past the post. A few minutes later Redshaw is clean through but allows the keeper to save. Then Scott Metcalfe heads just wide. Had any of these gone in, it might have been a different story. Instead, a Salford penalty claim for handball is dismissed by the ref and Farsley go straight down the other end and double their lead. 2-0.

A few minutes later 3-0. And it's not even half time. Farsley: Three shots. Three goals. Salford: Three attempts. No goals. It happens.

The second half starts and Farsley score again. 4-0. And again. 5-0. Five shots. Five goals. We think Salford have put Pudsey Bear in defence at half time. Shocking.

And then ace trickster and goal scorer supreme Adam Morning comes on as sub and proceeds to trip over his feet every time he gets the ball – like, three times at least. It kind of sums up the afternoon…

…But at least if we could just hold out 'til the final whistle it won't be our record defeat in the Evo-Stik… Injury time beckons. Bang! 6-0. And yes, the record defeat is assured.

Salford City have had lots of 6-1s and 6-2s but never a 6-0. To Farsley as well. No disrespect - a nice place with nice fans. But a village team somewhere near Pudsey, somewhere in Yorkshire, where they still hang washing across the street.

That nice Farsley bloke must still be shaking his head. Salford. Big city…

Photos by Andrew Goudie