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MARY BURNS AWARDS 2007

Welcome to the MARYS, the most glittering occasion in Salford’s community calendar. Here we honour the most deserving individuals and organisations in the city for their stupid statements, dodgy dealings and iffy activities over the past 12 months.

Please dress up in a monkey jacket or yer best frock while you read this and grab a glass of warm white wine. We would be grateful if you could applaud to yourself after each award is announced. Now, without further ado, let’s get on with the ceremony…

 

THE GEORGE BUSH `READ MY LIPS’ AWARD
THE FEED THE RICH AWARD (Part 1)
THE FEED THE RICH AWARD (Part 2)
THE `OUR FRIENDS IN THE NORTH’ MEMORIAL AWARD

THE WE WANT OUR PENNY AND OUR BUN AWARD

THE `WE DON’T GIVE A FLYING FIG ABOUT WEASTE’ AWARD
THE AFFORDABLE HOUSE IN YER DREAMS AWARD
THE `Of Course We’re Not Trying To Clear The Community Out Of Central Salford That’s Next To Manchester, The River, The University and the BBC Media City Site’ AWARD…
THE `LET’S LOAN PUBLIC MONEY TO A BANK’ AWARD
THE `WE’RE SO GREEN IT (REALLY IS) UNBELIEVABLE’ AWARD
THE `YOU’RE TWISTIN’ MY MELON MAN’ MAD, MAD, MAD, MUSIC AWARD
THE `UNCLE’ JOE STALIN AWARD FOR OPEN AND DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT
THE `EVERYBODY LOVES US’ AWARD
THE FRAZER `WE’RE ALL DOOOMED’ AWARD
THE `Who can say, 'I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin'? AWARD
THE `WHAT A GREAT SCHOOL! LET’S SHUT IT!’ AWARD
THE SPECIAL AWARD FOR BEING HAZEL BLEARS

 

THE `WE DON’T GIVE A FLYING FIG ABOUT WEASTE’ AWARD

Goes To…

SALFORD CITY COUNCIL

Well, we could have a whole night’s ceremony just about Weaste but we haven’t got space so we’re cramming everything into one giant Mary…

Firstly, Weaste, one of the most deprived wards in city, was declared a Renewal Area three years and then the Council promptly lost the report and all the figures it was based on. And they still haven’t found it.

Then, at the end of October, the Council put its figures into the Government to get money for the next three years to do up housing and stuff in all the central Salford areas. It put in for over £18million for Higher Broughton, over £16million for Lower Broughton, over £9million for North Irwell and for Langworthy…and Weaste? £200,000 for three years. That’s less than £70,000 a year for the whole place…an area that’s got no community buildings, no youth clubs, no recreation centres and, er, half a library. And it’s got to share that money with Claremont. …

Meanwhile, there’s the Weaste triangle, just off Eccles new Road, where, post bulldozers, only three streets are still standing (Smyrna Street, Cemetery Road and Kirkham Street). Most of the houses are damp and need loads doing to them but residents are suffering because the Council doesn’t seem bothered about telling anyone whether they’re staying up or coming down.

“We need to know where we stand but we’re just being neglected” says Pat White from Smyrna Street “My kitchen and two back bedrooms are damp, all the back window frames are rotted. There’s children living in damp houses around here and the only place they can go and play is a bit of green that’s full of dog muck from the RSPCA users. We’ve been so overlooked it’s diabolical….”

Nothing to do with the fact that there’s no Labour councillors down there, we hope…

   

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