MARY BURNS AWARDS 2007

Welcome to the MARYS, the most glittering occasion in Salford’s community calendar. Here we honour the most deserving individuals and organisations in the city for their stupid statements, dodgy dealings and iffy activities over the past 12 months.

Please dress up in a monkey jacket or yer best frock while you read this and grab a glass of warm white wine. We would be grateful if you could applaud to yourself after each award is announced. Now, without further ado, let’s get on with the ceremony…

THE SPECIAL AWARD FOR BEING HAZEL BLEARS

Goes to…

HAZEL BLEARS

No award ceremony in the city would be complete without a presentation to Hazel, the MP and Minister for whatever-short-term-headline-grabbing-crap-the-government-feels-like-shovelling-onto-the-community-because-`I’m-from-Salford-me’.

Hazel works very hard in the community, turning up at events all over the city to have her photo taken…she doesn’t actually do much to help residents whose houses or schools are under threat but she is very good at spotting a photo opportunity - and getting her hair to be less frightening.

So we’ve invented a special category to end this ceremony just so that Hazel can have her photo in the Salford Star…to show how hard she works in the community having her photo taken etc etc….

Hazel Blears…this is your Mary!