MARY BURNS AWARDS 2007

Welcome to the MARYS, the most glittering occasion in Salford’s community calendar. Here we honour the most deserving individuals and organisations in the city for their stupid statements, dodgy dealings and iffy activities over the past 12 months.

Please dress up in a monkey jacket or yer best frock while you read this and grab a glass of warm white wine. We would be grateful if you could applaud to yourself after each award is announced. Now, without further ado, let’s get on with the ceremony…

THE FRAZER `WE’RE ALL DOOOMED’ AWARD

Goes to...

Salford City Council (Panic Dept)

Well hidden documents from the Council show that the Council’s really worried about…well, just about everything, despite its `everything’s great IN Salford’ front…

On the BBC move to Media City the doc says the risk is that the Council “may not be able to meet commitments due to uncertainty of funding”

On the Council Housing sell off, or Stock Transfer as it likes to call it, the risk is that “the Council may not be able to meet…hidden costs” (hidden costs ? Didn’t mention those when the Council had the sell off ballot!)

On the troubled Building Schools for the Future programme they’re worried “that the scheme may not be affordable and have a detrimental impact on Council finances”

There’s pages and pages of this stuff…Ay, we’re a-a-a-ll do-o-o-o-o-o-omed IN Salford…